Aidan Jones who recently came out as non binary RMG14
AN Enniskillen teenager who is non-binary, meaning they do not identify as being either male or female, has spoken of the strong support they have received since ‘coming out’.
Aidan Jones (19) recently posted a video to Facebook explaining to family and friends what being non-binary means. Speaking to the Herald about their experiences since, the former Erne Integrated College pupil told an encouraging tale for others who may be questioning their gender identity.
Explaining how they had never felt comfortable with their gender presentation and “always felt some level of gender dysphoria”, Aidan said it was only in recent months they fully began to explore their gender identity and realised they were non-binary.
“I told some close friends of mine that I was questioning my gender identity at that point, and they helped me work out how I wanted to present myself, and helped reassure me that my identity and feelings were valid,” said Aidan, who as a non-binary person prefers to be referred to as “they” or “her”.
The A-Level student and political activist, who is studying politics and sociology at Belfast MET and is chairman of the Young Greens Northern Ireland, said since coming out they had received a lot of support, not least from their political friends, even being congratulated by Green Party leader Steven Agnew and deputy leader Clare Bailey. However, they added they had been pleasantly surprised by many others.
“I knew among my political and Green Party friends that I’d be supported, because they’re all active in LGBT rights campaigns already, but I didn’t foresee my old school friends, or my wider family, being helpful as much as they have been,” they said. “I knew it would be more of an alien concept to people like my granny, but she, and everyone else, are perfectly supportive once they learn the terminology.
“I think, now that people know I’m non-binary, they’ll question less my decisions that might seem less ‘masculine’, wearing make-up, or a skirt, for example, or sitting or walking in a particular way. It’s not excellent that some people would have commented on those things before I came out, but that’s the society we have to change, and if people can accept my identity and presentation, that’s a positive step.”
Aidan added that moving from Fermanagh to Belfast, where they had found physical meetings and “safe spaces” for non-binary and transgender people, had been helpful.
“I think traditional gender roles have a bit more power over people in more rural communities,” they said. “If I’d have come out while living in Fermanagh, I know I’d have friends who would be supportive, but because people aren’t really ever informed about gender identities, they would probably continue to misgender and misunderstand my identity, more in ignorance than malice.”
With regard Belfast, they added: “It’s still not an especially welcoming place for LGBT people, but unfortunately, not many places are in the world at the minute, and that’s what we have to change.”
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