A FERMANAGH couple’s therapist has shared her top tip for how to transform your relationship this Valentine’s Day.
Shauna Cathcart pointed out while many may feel the traditions associated with the holiday, such as buying flowers or chocolate, were too commercial, research showed the benefits of prioritising your relationship were enormous.
“Taking the time to connect leaves you more nourished, energised, and happy, and is proven to help you live longer and enjoy better health,” she said.
“Now, isn’t that reason enough to invest in your relationship?”
Shauna said the one question to ask your partner was, “How can I make you feel loved by me this week?”
She explained many couples assumed they already know how their partner wants to feel loved.
“But love looks different for everyone,” she continued.
“These small gestures reflect different ways people experience love—what experts call love languages.”
Shauna noted feeling loved meant different things to different people, from praise, practical support and reliability to quality time, physical affection and thoughtful surprises.
Shauna highlighted that strong relationships are built through small, everyday acts of attention and care.
She cited relationship experts John Gottman and Terry Real, who emphasise that love is shown through intentional actions, thoughtful responses, and consistent effort rather than feelings alone.
Offering some practical advice, Shauna said, “Imagine it’s Sunday night or Monday morning. You’re sitting together with a cup of coffee or winding down before bed, and you ask, ‘How can I make you feel loved by me this week?’”
What matters most, Shauna says, is remembering that your answer may be very different from your partner’s.
That small, intentional check-in can strengthen a relationship far more than any bouquet or box of chocolates ever could.
Shauna recommends making the question a weekly habit. “Listen fully, respond intentionally, and notice how your connection deepens,” she says.
“Over time, these small, thoughtful actions build a stronger, more resilient bond than any grand romantic gesture ever could—and as you start to feel closer, more connected, and happier, you’ll notice just how worthwhile the effort is.”
This Valentine’s Day, she adds, the best gift you can give your partner is the feeling of being truly seen and understood.
“That,” Shauna says, “is the kind of love that lasts.”
