A huge welcome to my first Benny’s Banter. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a ‘true townie’ having been born in Abbey Street, between the bridges of Enniskillen.
I run a very successful Facebook page called Enniskillen Banter. It has over 37,000 members worldwide and its purpose is to share humour and positivity.
Staying with that focus, I hope to create something similar along those same lines through my Fermanagh Herald column.
Gorgeous, muscular, intelligent, super singer/dancer, hilarious, modest with an unassuming nature – but that’s enough about me for now, let’s get on with the craic.
Windswept
Well what a week that was with Storm Chandra, high winds and rain hit Fermanagh and despite that howling wind we needed milk and crisps (essentials) out of Rooney’s Eurospar.
So off I went, and whenever I came out of the shop I was blew all the way up the road to Culley’s Bar.
The craic was mighty in there, so as a gesture I decided to be the big fella and cracked open my six pack of Golden Wonder cheese and onion crisps.
For the first time ever I noticed on the packet it said ‘not to be sold separately’ and I thought to myself aye as if anyone is gonna buy one crisp anyway.
After a pint or three I headed out again and when I arrived home drenched to the skin, one of our ones announced on Facebook
that I’d been all the way to Eurospar and had just arrived back soaked to the skin but that if anyone needed anything from there I’d be more than happy to run back in again.
The post was that funny I forgot to laugh.
It was bin collection that day so I decided I’ll put it out early. That evening it went missing, I searched everywhere thinking the wind had blown it along the road.
The next day I spotted a yoke in ASDA and it’s wing looked strangely familiar.
Coincidence? I think not! (see photo, as it’s self-explanatory.)
An epic tale
I must tell you all a quick wee story before I go.
My missus rang me the other day, she says “Benny, you know that
Gladiator movie I got you
last Christmas?”
“Aye” says I and she says “Forward the filum (that’s the fancy way the Fermanagh ones say film) to one hour, 16 minutes and 28 seconds”.
“That’s done, says I.”
“Okay and do you see the gladiator at the front fighting the lion Benny?” says she. “I can,” says I.
“Just behind him, there are two Gladiators having a sword fight with other” says she. “Okay, I see them” says I.
”Well, just behind them two,on the left hand side of the screen there’s a Gladiator holding a spear??” “I can see him too,” says I .
“Right!” says she, “Those are the sandals I want for my birthday.”
So folks that’s it for now, hope you enjoyed the wee bit of light-hearted fun and don’t forget to check in on Enniskillen Banter for your daily dose of laughs.‘Til next time, take care.
p.s. Top tip for this week: prevent chocolate digestives from going stale after opening by eating the whole packet in one go!
