BULLYING is “rampant” in Fermanagh, according to one heart-broken mother of a teenager who has been suffering extreme harassment over the past few years.
The mother, who has chosen to remain anonymous to protect the identity of her son, explained her son’s troubles first began when he started second-level schooling, and since then things have deteriorated dramatically.
Starting with name calling, the mother said things quickly became physical, with a series of incidents which included her son having his finger stuck in a gas tap, having his is blazer slashed, having paint thrown on him, and with incidents getting so bad he suffered bruised ribs and even a head injury.
While she said in the past she has seen her son completely break down, the mother said, remarkably, the intense bullying hadn’t affected her son’s studies.
“He will always pick himself up,” she said. “I think it’s because he’s just so used to what he gets.
“I also asked him if wanted to change schools and he said, ‘mummy, why should I let them win.’”
“He has such a good heart,” she continued, explaining how her son had no friends at school and walked around alone. “If the other children would just get to know him they’d see how good a heart he has.”
The mother said she believed bullying was worse for this generation due to technology, explaining cyber-bullying was not an issue with her son as she limited his use of the Internet, but adding other children suffered greatly as a result of mobile phones and social media apps.
“I’m not going to put him in a situation that makes him more vulnerable,” she said. “He uses the computer for his homework, but I won’t let him on social media.”
Referring to the deaths by suicide by some teenagers who had suffered bullying, such as Erin Gallagher in Donegal, the mother said her son had reached such a low point at one stage she feared for his safety too.
“I feared I was going to wake up and he would be gone, or that he’d have left home,” she said, who advised other parents to talk to their children about even the smallest things. “Communication is key.”
Having had little support from her son’s school, the mother said she found solace online, where many local families have since been sharing their sadly similar stories with her.
“I felt so down and isolated by it all, I can just imagine what my son must be going through if I feel like that,” said the mother, who added telling her story online and talking with other local mothers who were going through the same thing with their children.
“There are a lot of parents in Enniskillen alone who are going through this. It is so rampant here, it’s scary. It’s a big problem,” she said, adding that, until she put her story online, many of these local mothers also felt alone, but were now sharing their stories.
“I would love to go one step further and start a support group to support families,” she said. “For me, to tell my story, was a big help.”
She continued: “I’m here day and night to listen. I know that’s what I needed, was for someone to listen to me
“If I can help just one child through all this, then I’ll know it’s all been worth it.”
If you would like to contact the mother featured in this story, email r.henderson@fermanaghherald.com
Social media brings added twist to bullying
WHILE the bullying used to end with the sound of the school bell, unfortunately, due to modern day technology, bullying now continues to happen outside of school, on the screens and smartphones that are always at arms reach.
Social media has given bullies a platform to abuse their victims at any time of the day, with smart comments, snapchats and private messages all too often an everyday occurrence for the victims of evil bullies.
Next week is anti-bullying week, November 14th to the 18th, and the impact of cyber bullying must be highlighted, in the hope of helping the victims come forward and end the suffering of the innocent people who are being bullied.
Last year, Edel Meehan, St Comhghall’s Secondary School took some of her students to Stormont to learn about the impact of cyber bullying on those who are recipients.
“One of the main concern is that it takes so many forms and that it is so accessible. Bullies feel they can hide online behind a fake profile or pseudo name.
“A vicious comment, nasty text message or vengeful smear campaign can leave a lasting impact on the victim. Another big concern is that the victim doesn’t tell anyone as we can’t help them if we don’t know about it.”
All the schools around the county have an anti-bullying policy in place, and it is important that students are aware that help is available, no matter how the bullying is occurring.
“Students are made aware through regular e-safety courses delivered in schools and it is also taught through the curriculum in subjects like LLW and ICT. However studies show that many students feel it won’t happen to them and perhaps panic when is does happen instead of following the advice they have been given. If you are suffering, or see bullying, tell someone. A friend, a parent, a sibling, a teacher. By suffering in silence, you are giving more power to the bully.”
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