SPEAKING OUT… Mary and Ian Monaghan, parents of Paul, who committed suicide recently
JUST OVER a week after their son took his own life, Ian and Mary Monaghan, have spoken candidly of their son and the circumstances of his death.
Paul Monaghan was found dead aged 22 on Saturday, March 29 in Enniskillen.
His mother, Mary, was at work in Marks and Spencer in Enniskillen that day, while her husband Ian, was at home.
“I was at work and I’d been in work for close on an hour. One of the girls coming into work for 8 o’ clock told me that someone wants to speak to me outside.
“It was Paul’s partner and her sisters, and they had the news that Paul had passed away.”
A large crowd attended Paul’s funeral at St Michael’s Church, Enniskillen, on Wednesday.
Mary said: “He got himself in and out of trouble over the years. He had a lot of pressures coming up. In my opinion, he felt that there was nobody there to help, that things weren’t going to get any better for him.
“The only person he would have hurt was himself. He had alcohol issues and when he drank he would get himself into trouble. But over the past nine months life was good for him. He was in a stable relationship, he seemed to be enjoying life.”
Mary explained her reasons for speaking out on the issue of suicide.
“If by us speaking out about it helps even one person, if there’s one person out there feeling so desolate that they would go and do what Paul did, if it can help one other family not go through what we have then I would say that it’s worth it.
“You can hide from it, but there’s no point in hiding from it. People know what happened anyway. It’s not going to bring Paul back, nothing unfortunately will do that. We’re just devastated that this has happened.”
And Ian added: “If there’s anybody out there that thinks this is the best way to solve things, it’s not. This is what’s left behind – lives are broken.”
From the moment that the family and friends of Paul and the family, came to offer support. Ian said: ‘If he had known how much support – even from his friends – maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did’.
And, following on from last week, Mary issued a further plea.
“Don’t do it. Talk to anybody. Nothing is as bad as what you think it is. There has to be a way out.”
Her husband added: “The point is, whatever issue it is, if someone talks about it then the issue is out there. They have to be brave enough to do that. And once they do that they won’t need to talk about taking their own life.
“Paul had issues, that if he had spoken about and got help for, he would still be here today.”
On Sunday, Mother’s Day, Mary received gifts from her son Paul that he had pre-arranged.
“He got me lots of wee bits, a teddy, a mug, a basket of smelly stuff, a pen – wee bits that will always be special to me.”
If you or someone you know is in distress or despair, call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. This is a confidential service, where trained counsellors will listen and help immediately on the phone and follow up with other support if necessary. The helpline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also access the Lifeline website at www.lifelinehelpline.info.
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