THE world has gone absolutely and totally mad – in case you didn’t know – and it is ruled by Simon Cowell.
This is certainly the case when five young guys with questionable singing ability who come third in a TV talent show (the X-Factor) appear to be on the verge of taking over the world.
They can just about sing, they certainly can’t dance but they are all cocky enough not to let ‘little things’ like this worry them. Their names are Niall, Zayn, Liam, Harry and Louis and they are otherwise known as ‘One Direction’.
Why am I discussing this in a column about movies, you might wonder. It’s because their debut movie (please don’t let there be any sequels) ‘This is Us’ arrives in cinemas on August 29 and I expect it might be rather popular.
And why do I think this film – which is basically a documentary about their ‘meteoric rise’ to fame – will be popular. Well, apparently they have sold 19 million singles and 10 million albums to date (they only released their first album in 2011) and have managed to crack America to such an extent that a premiere of the film in Los Angeles was stormed by hundreds of teenage girls.
We are told the film will feature ‘access all areas’ of their global touring and ‘amazing’ concert footage – which means footage of these five guys jumping up and down on stage as thousands of teenage girls scream themselves silly.
It would appear we have social media to blame for just how successful this group of lads have become – so Twitter and Facebook, you have a lot to answer for.
A poor mother who took her daughter to the LA premiere of ‘This is Us’ remarked ‘it’s just like the Beatles’. Oh dear.
Some cinemas, including the one in Enniskillen, are already selling tickets for ‘This is Us’ so young fans might be advised to get on the ball sooner rather than later – to avoid tantrums.
This is one movie I have no intention of watching, but I imagine even those inside the cinema won’t hear a bloody thing such will the level of screaming from little girls in attendance.
Behind all this madness is, of course, Simon Cowell – the evil puppet master – who is now in total control of the world. Resistance would appear to be futile.
Simon is King – long live the King….