Parenting can be an overwhelming journey at the best of times. Home-Start Lakeland co-ordinator Diane Noble gives her top tips on how parents can cope with the lockdown.
Same storm, different boat
Not all parents are in the same boat. Some homes will have both parents at home with extra time on their hands to spend with the kids, others will have parents trying to work from home while home schooling, others will have parents as key workers and life will seem busier than ever.
Good enough
We don’t have to be perfect parents. This applies at all times, not just during this unusual period.
Experts over the years have cited that we only have to get it right 50-70 percent of the time and in fact it is good for children to see that parents sometimes get it wrong too. We will all lose it at times. Learn what helps you to stay calm and use it in those moments when you feel like you are going over the edge.
Find your calm
What do you do that makes you feel better? It might be counting to 10, it might be a walk, a bath, reading a magazine, a hot cup of tea or coffee or talking to a friend. Learn when your emotional thermometer is reaching red and walk away, give yourself time out and come back when you are back on green!
Stay Connected
We are naturally designed to seek connections and human contact. Stay in touch with people, ring a friend or family member, arrange an evening get together with friends online. Parents have told us that when they have been having an off day, talking to their volunteer ‘really lifted my spirits’. Even a short connection can make you feel better.
The housework can wait
Trying to keep our house clean and tidy while everyone is at home 24/7 is like trying to sweep leaves in a storm. Having a pristine house is not going to happen so let it go. Do the basics and other bits if you can manage it but don’t let it worry you. The kids will be happier if you spend the time with them.
Parent not Teacher
Children behave differently with you than they do with others, so they are not going to behave in home school how they would in an ordinary school setting. Accept that they won’t be doing school lessons for six hours a day. The most you can probably hope for is one-two hours a day and some days it will be zero, accept that and move on. These are extraordinary times. You can use the time to teach them life skills, and there is also so much learning through play.
Routine
Children like routine, it lets them know what is going to happen next and gives them a sense of security. The change in routine may have been very unsettling for them. Try to create a loose schedule for your day. Some days this will work but some days you will stay in your PJ’s all day and watch TV. That’s OK too.
Relieving boredom
The internet is full of ideas to keep little ones entertained, and many are posting free activities on social media. We are posting an ‘Activity of the Day’ on our Home-Start Lakeland Facebook page with lots of ideas to keep little people busy.
Support
Don’t be afraid to admit you are having a bad day or week and ask for help. Remember, you are doing your best.
There are lots of local organisations here to help. If you think you would benefit from telephone support from a Home-Start volunteer, please e-mail us on info@homestartlakeland.com. You should still be able to get your Health Visitor on the phone.
Action for Children in Enniskillen have a full list of local family support agencies, contact them on 028 6632 4181. Parenting NI have a Support Line: 0808 8010 722 available Monday – Thursday 9:30 am – 3:30 pm and Friday 9:30 – 12:30 pm..
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